 |
|
Turning "Yes, But" into "I Don’t Know"
(Converting Barriers into Research Projects)
Betty Kohlenberg, M.S., CRC, ABVE
Most of the time when people hear advice, their first response is to say
"no." Even when the advice seems well-intentioned and a good
idea, it’s hard to envision how to follow it. So if someone says, "It
would probably be a good idea if you...," your first answer may well
be, "Yes, but I don’t think it will work because...."
I call these "Yes, Buts." Do these "Yes, Buts"
sound familiar?
- Yes, I’d like to work, but no one will hire me if they know I have
HIV / cancer / a disability.
- Yes, I’d like more money, but I’m afraid I’ll lose my disability
payments.
- Yes, there are lots of jobs, but I don’t know what I could do.
And no employer is going to give me time off to go to the doctor.
- Yes, I’m bored and broke, but I can’t count on my health staying
this good consistently. And what about stress?
If you think about it, all these "Yes, Buts" are actually
questions in disguise. Probably most of your "Yes, Buts"
are too. If you translate the questions behind the objections, you’ll
find these:
- I don’t know how to talk about my medical status to an employer.
And I don’t know what my rights are and what an employer is allowed
to ask me.
- I don’t know the rules about earnings for the benefits I get.
- I don’t know what career to pursue. And I don’t know how to ask
for accommodations at work.
- I’m scared about my health and I don’t know if I can trust my body.
I haven’t tried doing anything in so long, I don’t know what I can
do.
If you turn "Yes, But" into "I don’t know,"
it’s easier to determine the next steps instead of getting stymied. If
you leave your objections as barriers, you leave yourself no way to get
beyond them. For the questions above, the answers are found in learning
to interview, learning your rights and benefits, getting career counseling,
exploring the labor market and expanding your activities. These may take
time, but they are better than staying stuck.
Now it’s your turn to turn "Yes, Buts" into "I
Don’t Know."
1. Write down the biggest objections you can think of, all of them,
to going back to work.
example: Yes, but I don't think employers will hire me if tell
them about my job history.
2. Translate each "Yes, But" into a research project,
by restating it as "I don’t know."
example: I don't know how to describe my job history in a way
that will make sense to an employer.
3. Now write down what you need to learn or find out to answer your
questions.
example: I need to read a book on interviewing or talk to a career
counselor.
|
